Hello fellow seekers.
Welcome to Part 5 of the “To Be or Not to Be” series.
This is a shorter one where I share the 7 big takeaways from my journey to this point. I want to emphasize “to this point” because I still don’t feel like I’ve landed. I still feel in process and in transition.
Lesson 1: Ask the Questions & Listen for the Answers
I felt pushed to listen to my inner self and the Universe. Our brains are amazing tools, but they can’t tune into our deep spiritual truths. You only get there by tuning in and tuning Up. I do not always find this easy to do because of the millions of daily distractions. I know people who do elaborate rituals for this process. Rituals can be a powerful process for creating the sacred space, energy, and mindset to connect with the Universe or Divine.
I like rituals but they aren’t typically my first choice. I tend to use them when I’m stuck. I usually start by asking through my mind but then I focus on feeling for the answers. I feel my energy above my head, and I feel the energy in my body. Answers or messages come to me in a variety of ways. For instance, sometimes I receive an image in my mind. Sometimes I’ll see and/or hear messages in the environment like hearing a song lyric, then seeing a road sign, then hearing someone talk about it. Answers come with a clear powerful sensation in my body. Often, I’ll ask a question and then focus on feeling deep into my abdomen. No matter how a message may come to me, there is a corresponding physical confirmation of its truth. It never happens in my brain even if there are thoughts associated with it. This whole process takes practice and sometimes I’m wrong. When that happens, I know it’s because I wasn’t really grounded and tuned in. I was listening to my mind instead of my inner self or intuition. Listening for answers takes trust in yourself and the Universe. It also can’t be rushed. I bump into rushing and impatience fairly often too.
Lesson 2: Go Where I’m Called
I’ve had a curvy life path. I suspect many people would say I’ve done crazy and impulsive things, perhaps even irresponsible. Maybe. Maybe not. I always thought I was making the right choice for me even if it meant moving across the country or changing careers or traveling alone or whatever is next…. I felt moved toward each choice. Each choice had the feeling of clarity even if I didn’t know exactly why or what the ultimate outcome would be. I will say this has been more challenging as I’ve gotten older. When I was younger there was no real thought about how much life was left. I assumed a long life. I still assume a long life but the truth is I’m much closer to the end of it now. Perhaps this adds a layer of consciousness to decisions that I didn’t feel before.
It was relatively easy to start grad school, despite my doubt and uncertainties, because that had a clear outcome and probable career paths. It feels much different at this time in my life. I don’t have clarity about what I’m working toward now. Things feel wide open and uncertain which is uncomfortable.
Lesson 3: Let Go of Resistance
Resistance = fear. Perfectionism is also fear. Getting tangled up in all the what’s and how’s is perfectionism, is resistance, is fear. Letting go of resistance is about being present in the moment rather than worrying about the future or others’ reactions. We want things to work out the way we want them. When we’re anxious we tend to attempt controlling things to help ourselves feel better. I certainly do! However, I have repeated evidence that when the worry and attempts to control pop up for me, I know it’s a message to let go. When I notice my resistance, I know it’s a message to let go. Letting go of resistance also requires trust in yourself and that the Universe is working on your behalf. I freely admit that trust is not my superpower. When I’m in resistance, the messages are about letting go and the reminder to love myself which was lesson 4.
Lesson 4: Love Myself
Whenever I’m struggling, I always discover there’s a lack of love for myself, a lack of acceptance of who I am and what I’m doing. The spiritual practice, of course, is to love myself in the moment no matter what is happening. If I feel bad, I’m not in the love. I’m challenged to give myself the loving messages and tap into the love of the Universe. It doesn’t always happen right away. I keep holding the intention and working to raise my energy. It’s a practice.
Lesson 5: Act Like I Love Myself
Whether I feel the love or not, it is important to Act like I love myself. Acting loving means doing the things that I know my body, mind, and spirit need. I do not have to be perfect with it. In fact, I’m not going to be perfect with my actions. I’m still going to have a chocolate chip cookie because I just love them. Cookies bring me joy and there’s nothing wrong with that. But I’ll choose not to have six cookies as an act of loving myself. I will also refrain from mean self-talk, talk to friends, move my body, spend time outside, read or listen to inspiring things, listen to music, and so on. It’s about treating myself like I would treat the dear friend I love.
Lesson 6: Share the Love
Ram Dass talked about his guru’s instruction to “Love everybody”. In my opinion, this is the hardest possible lesson. Humans have tribalism wired into our brains. We can’t help but identify people as like us or not like us or “others”. Our brains can’t help but identify all the ways they are wrong, bad, scary, evil, and so on. We are also inherently loving beings. We are both but not at the same time. The practice here is noticing when my brain judges and criticizes and other-izes. When I notice how awful that feels, I can consciously shift my perceptions by reminding myself of the common
ground all humans have. I can find compassion and understanding for people I believe are harmful. I also still have the freedom and responsibility to choose only those in my highest good to be in my space. I can say no from a loving place. We’re talking about wisdom and discernment. There aren’t any either/or answers here. Contemplate this in your own life.
Lesson 7: Change the World!
Lessons 1-6 resulted in changing me and thus changing the world. Let me be clear that I continue to be a work in progress. All these lessons and practices are ongoing. I am not able to listen as much as I believe would be most helpful to me. I’m not always able to ask the questions and allow myself to receive the answers. I do not always go where or how I’m called. I have a default setting for resistance to change.
I do know for sure that loving myself raises my energy. Love raises my vibration which raises my mood. It makes me happy. It makes it easier to love because it feeds on itself. It’s easier to love my kitties, to love this environment, to love my friends, and love my community. When I feel more loving toward myself, I tell my friends more often that I love them. Suddenly you discover that you don’t even need words to share your love with the world. It’s just through your actions. Smiling at a stranger is sharing your love for yourself.
I really believe this changes the world in powerful ways. When we feel love, we cannot feel hate or act with hate. I changed the world by loving myself. I change the world by changing myself. I change the world by continually knowing myself more deeply, growing in all ways, and practicing the things that help me be in alignment. I change the world by connecting with the people who resonate with my message. We all change the world by raising our vibrations together. And you know, one person with a high vibration is more powerful than a million according to Abraham Hicks.
We change the world as more of us are practicing presence, growing ourselves, opening ourselves, connecting to the universe, and practicing love for ourselves and everything else.
These were my big lessons in the process of the last couple of years. Now comes the challenge and practice to live them.
I’d love to hear about your journeys and lessons. I’d love to hear what resonated with you. What made you think about something in your own experience differently? Maybe it reminded you of something that happened that gave you lessons or your own guidance. Maybe something within you sparked an idea about what your next step is or what you need. I’d love to read that in the comments.
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Love yourself,
Act like it,
Share it,
And that will Change the World!
Inis LaMothe, PsyD 
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